


Souls, secrets and lessons

by Scarlett Spike (Salvachester)



Series: Scarlett and Spike [1]
Category: Angel: the Series, BtVS - Fandom, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffyverse
Genre: Adventure, Explicit Language, F/M, Gen, Romance, Sexual Content, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 08:44:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 20,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1003361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salvachester/pseuds/Scarlett%20Spike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angel and Spike travel to London in search for a vampire rumored to also have a soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: The story takes place 3 years after the events of “Not Fade Away”, and ignores all comics written afterwards. Some events may not match actual timeline corresponding to 2007, such as music, TV, technology, so don’t stake me for that. =)  
> Key: Italics refer to thoughts, quotes, lyrics of songs and in some cases, memories. Bold refers to emphasis.  
> Spike and Angel belong to Joss Whedon.

**London, 2007**

Spike lurked around the cemetery once again, hoping to find any trace of this mysterious vampire. He never thought he was gonna come back to the Mother Country ever again, let alone with Angel. Surprisingly, they have been getting along just fine, but of course it had everything to do with him having moved on. Angel, on the other hand, would never be over her. Truth be told, Spike knew he himself still cared for Buffy, but not in the way he used to. That trip to Rome he and his grandsire made three years ago turned out to be a bloody revelation about his feelings for the Slayer, she had made it pretty clear she didn't want them in her life until she sorted out whatever feelings she had for them. That had been it for Spike, no more games. So the fact that Angel was still in love with her didn't bother him, at all.

He perched himself over a crypt and waited, hoping something would come out of all this search. He hadn't been entirely happy when he and Angel heard the rumors, and the elder vampire was even more broody than usual about it. It had been distressing enough for Angel to know that he was no longer the one and only vampire with a soul, that of all the vampires in the world, it just **had** to have been Spike the one to crash his exclusive status. And now Spike could **totally** relate with Angel, for they have heard word of yet another ensouled vampire. So when the bitter news sank in, and egos felt less bruised, they caught the first cargo ship back to Europe.

They have been searching for days now, sweeping all over London, trying to find info, **any** info at all, about this vampire. Spike lit another cigarette and let himself relax a little bit, the cool breeze caressing his cheekbones. Oddly enough, somehow, it felt good to be back in England. "This is sodding boring", he muttered to himself, "should've gotten me a good ol' bottle of Hooch." But when he was about to give up on his part of this quest, his enhanced ears caught the sound of a brawl happening somewhere near. He smirked to himself and intended to take off and head over to wherever all the noise was coming from. _There's_ _ **no**_ _way I'm turning down a good spot of violence,_ he thought. But before he could jump off the roof of the crypt, he saw a young red-haired woman running for dear life, with five vampires chasing not far behind. Spike was in motion in a split of a second, but not without thinking _what moron takes a stroll in a cemetery, at night, wearing those inhumanly -and painfully looking- high heels?_ But before he managed to even run ten meters, the woman, all clad in black -including her long leather coat-, spun around drawing two long swords out of **nowhere** and started chopping heads. _What'd you know_ , Spike thought while stopping on his tracks, _a Slayer_.

He watched as she effortlessly dusted two of the remaining bloodsuckers, and now she was fighting the last one. Spike had to fight his urges, he **so** wanted to fight, but he wasn't gonna go **anywhere** near those swords. Specially when he noticed they had wooden ends. "Yeah, definitely not getting near those _",_ he muttered just as the vampire foe managed to hurt the redhead in her left forearm. Now, the events that unfolded right after, caught Spike **completely** off guard, in what it could only be described as a massive what-the-fuck moment, for the girl was now in game-face, growling at her opponent and fighting him mercilessly until he was dust. Spike couldn't believe what he was witnessing. And as he was about to pull out his cell phone and call Angel and inform him -because he was bloody **sure** now- that he had found their mysterious ensouled vampire, the redhead was already gone. Nonetheless, he called his grandsire and filled him in. But what information he hid from Angel was the fact that Spike recognized her, he had not been wrong about her being a Slayer, for he had fought her before, a **long** time ago.

That night he found himself unable to sleep, tossing and turning, he kept going back to what happened in the cemetery earlier tonight. Of course, he and Angel tried to track her down but they couldn't find any traces, her scent simply vanished at some spot, and both vampires were left much more frustrated than they already had been. _She knows very well how to avoid being tracked. She is **good**_ , Spike thought while taking a drag from his cigarette, and smirked to himself, knowing he wasn't upset anymore about this soul-party crasher. He kept replaying the events over and over, and as he was slowly dozing off, bits and pieces of old memories slowly started mixing with his current thoughts until he finally fell asleep, where the whole memory finally kicked in.


	2. Chapter 2

**Los Angeles, 1986**

Spike thought it was time, he had been watching and studying this Slayer for over two weeks now and he was more than ready and eager to fight her. Rose Scott-Thomas, that was her name, was amazingly resourceful and cunning, she was fast to use anything in her enviroment as a weapon.  **Anything**. But oddly enough one thing that caught his attention about her was her style and the places she’d go before and after her patrols: she was always going in and out of the Whiskey-A-Go-Go, the Rainbow, the Troubadour, and brandishing punk, heavy metal and hard rock t-shirts. _At least the bint knows her music,_ he mused. But the thing that impressed him more was the fact that she was twenty-two, quite a remarkable feat considering all Slayers tend to die rather young.  _Well, tonight that changes, pet_ , he thought while gulping his glass of vodka. As rain started to pour, he took off to find his prey.

Rose exited the club and headed to a dark alley, Spike noticed.  _Well, this is my chance, ain’t it?_  He followed her, jumping from rooftop to rooftop, and when she seemed distracted, he jumped in front of her, a good fifteen meters between them. She didn’t seem surprised at all and she merely raised her stake and eyed him up and down. She was slim, her long red hair fashioned in a pony tail, drenched from the rain. He would have considered her plain and dull, almost a butch girl, under her large Metallica t-shirt and jacket, but her face was pretty despite the fact she was wearing no make up. Yup, he would have considered her dull and boring, had it not been for her green eyes, for he noticed were blazing with hot fire.

"Hello there, cutie", he purred, smiling a most sinister smile.  _“_ Well, now that’s a pity,” Rose replied almost sarcastically, half smiling. “Why’s that, luv, what’s a pity?” Spike quizzically eyed her. “Dustin’ such  **fine**  looking bloodsucker,” she casually answered, smiling. Her words took him by surprise, as well as her sudden attack. He countered it and chuckled, “All right, pet, let’s get on with it then”. She was fierce, he noticed, and he liked that. He liked challenges, and something inside was telling him offing this Slayer was gonna be well worth any bruise on his face. He also wondered what souvenir would he take from her corpse.

She was countering most of Spike’s attacks, and he was countering hers. Having watched her for over two weeks indeed helped keep the fight even, because she was constantly changing fighting methods. The deathmatch had been on for well over thirty minutes now, and Spike was starting to get anxious, he wanted it over already, but he also noticed she was starting to wear out.  _Good, Spike, good, keep it like this, and this bitch is yours._ But the thought costed him the higher ground, for she landed a kick right in his stomach that threw him off balance, and by the time he managed to get up, Rose pinned him against a wall, face crashing hard on it, right arm twisted behind his back, then his left arm. It all happened in a blur, and before he could even think, he was cuffed, hands behind his back, landing on the floor. And what was worst, the Slayer was looming over him, stake raised high, a sense of victory in her blazing green eyes. And everything that happened next, he was all seeing it in slow motion. Unable to move, unable to act, unable to think, save for a  _bloody hell, this is it, ain’t it, this bitch’s got me._  In slow motion, Spike saw her straddle him, eyes blazing with that fire Slayers usually have, saw her raise her stake and slowly lower it, aiming for his heart. And then, she stopped right there, just as the pointy wood was  **just** beginning to tear the fabric of his t-shirt. Her eyes were locked in his demon eyes, wide open, as if she had seen a ghost. And then she got up and took off.  **Fast**.  _What the bloody hell was that?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Present time**

Spike woke up, almost panting, it had been a long, long time since the last time he had that dream. The memories of that night always haunted him. Not only because he couldn’t off her, but also because he had been quasi-obsessed with wanting to know  **why** she didn’t off him. He snatched a cigarette, lit it, and rolled back, staring at the ceiling.  _She looks different, her style, her hair, her whole attitude._ Not that he had any chance to actually bloody analyze her, it all happened so bleeding fast. He knew they had to find her.  **He**  wanted to find her, he wanted to know, he  **needed**  to know why did she spare him.

He remembered what happened after, how he managed to set himself free from those bloody handcuffs, how he tracked her down. And above all, he remembered his dismay when he found out that she had vanished the following day. Slayer, Watcher and boyfriend, all gone. And he remembered finding her, again, eight months later in New York City. He didn’t personally kill her, but he had been directly responsible for it. He had been so bloody pissed off about it, a prime kill snatched from his hands. Now a part of him was relieved to not have been the one delivering the killing blow, but the darkest corners of his mind wished it had been him the one who drained her, and not that poofter of a lackey that claimed the Slayer’s blood. His gang was supposed to wait for him before engaging combat, but the sods couldn’t help themselves and drove her to her death.

Now the memory raised yet another question,  _how on earth was she a vampire?_  Spike remembered torturing Dave, the bloodsucker who offed her, and how he retold the whole incident, how he ran away right after draining her. So the question danced inside Spike’s head,  _who the hell turned her?_  And before he realized, a swarm of questions were flooding his brain.  _How did she get her soul? When did she get it? Does she really have a soul, or the cemetery incident was just a war between vampire gangs?_ He knew there was a chance he might be wrong about her having a soul, but he kept dismissing that option. Unlike Angel, Spike wasn’t able to pick up souls at a distance, and he hadn’t been close enough to get some sort of confirmation. So he would have to rely on his grandsire. He didn’t like that, he  **hated** being in disadvantage in this sort of matters. Not to mention the fact that Spike hid information from Angel, he didn’t tell him she had been a Slayer, nor that Spike tried to off her twenty-one years ago, nor that he knew her name. What was the point in telling him? Not that it mattered what or who she had been and how Spike knew her. Angel and Spike were not friends, they were just colleagues that helped each other. No need to fill him in on all the details. Except, maybe, that she looked like someone who enjoyed partying, that info might help with the search. He tossed and turned, trying to force himself out of all that thinking.  _Bloody hell, I just wanna go back to sleep._

When sunset finally arrived, they both took off, hoping they would find her. And at least they had wheels, courtesy of Andrew. The little ponce could be absolutely annoying, but he was always helping Spike and to some extent, Angel. So when Andrew heard that the vampires were on some wild hunt and were gonna be settling in London, he got them a place to stay and a car to move around. After the battle in LA three years ago, when Wolfram and Hart was finally defeated, Angel lost most of his assets and was left with some cash to survive for a while. Same with Spike, so Andrew helping them out was a big plus.

They drove around the city until they found a club that could be a place where this mysterious girl would hang out. And as soon as they entered Spike caught her scent. Yup, she was here. The pair elbowed their way through the crowd, and while Spike was really digging this place, Angel was hating it. They stood near a corner, where they could scan the crowd. “Do you see her?” Angel yelled, trying to be heard over the loud music. And he got his answer when he noticed Spike staring at someone. “Over there,” he pointed.

As they made their way towards the vampire, Spike couldn’t help but notice the way she was dancing her way to the bar, swaying her hips, red mane brushing her bare back. When they got to the bar, just as Rose was grabbing a bottle, she turned around and faced them. And all that Spike could think of was just one word.

 _Gulp_.


	4. Chapter 4

_Long, red hair cascading on her exposed shoulders, feline green eyes perfectly eyelined, sensual, ruby glossy lips, satin pale pink skin. And voluptuous._ Spike almost choked with the smoke of his cigarette at the thought of the word voluptuous,  _definitely not how I remembered you, pet._

She gave him an analyzing stare, and Spike saw recognition in her eyes. “So Angelus and Spike want to pick a fight with-“, she suddenly stopped and shot her gaze at Angel, her eyes widening in surprise.  _What’s going on here?_  And Spike noticed his grandsire recognized her too. “You got a soul”, she snapped at Angel, and before either men could answer, Rose slapped her hand on Spike’s chest.  _Ok, didn’t see that one coming, and this bloke ain’t gonna complain._  “And so you do”, she finished in awe. Both men stared at each other, rather puzzled, then back at her, “yeah, we do, and by the way, my name’s Angel now”. Her moment of shock and surprise left her features as fast as they had arrived, and she was again half-smiling.  _Mischievously,_ Spike noted _._ "All right then, name’s Scarlett", she countered as she turned around, facing the bar once more. "Henry, I’m taking this," pointing at the bottle of Jack Daniels, "and I’m gonna need two extra glasses." She picked them up, and signaled them with her head to follow.

She moved between the crowd confidently towards a set of stairs, “less crowdy up there,” she shouted.  _So she’s now called Scarlett, rather fitting if you ask me_ , Spike couldn’t help checking her out, from top to bottom and back again. He smirked to himself at the sight of a tribal tattoo on her lower back. She was a  **completely** different person from the one he remembered.  _And to think at one point I thought of her as dull and boring,_  he scoffed. She led them to a table, placed the bottle and glasses, sat on a chair and propped her feet and crossed them on top of the edge of the table, much like a gangster from a Western movie. “So, what can I do for you?” she blurted as she poured whisky on all three glasses, picked one and drank it all. Spike liked that. A lot. Angel did most of the talking, explaining why they were in London, plus the story of his soul and his curse,  _always so bleeding boring_. She merely listened, and from time to time she would eye Spike, who was absorbed in his own thoughts, staring at her, and trying  **so** hard to not be obvious. Not minding or caring about anything his grandsire was saying. Spike had only one thing in his mind,  _well, maybe two,_ he admitted smiling to himself. He was growing desperate to ask her that same question he had been asking himself for so long. Why?  _Why didn’t you off me, luv?_  he asked her in his mind. Of course he wasn’t gonna be able to ask her, not while Angel was around. His brain was racing with anticipation so badly that he missed half of what Angel was saying, which for Spike was new information and rather relevant. “What’d you just say?”, he snapped at the older vampire. “I said she looks quite familiar, I know I saw her before, but just cannot place when and where.”  _So he knew her too, fancy that._ But Spike was not fancying it. Not at all. Scarlett stared at the blond vampire, studying him, and he saw something in her slightly narrowed eyes, a glimmer.  _She knows. She knows I didn’t tell him we have a sort of past history._  And the sole thought of the secrecy felt so  **damn**  good.

Spike, as well as Angel, was astonished when she told them she rose from the grave already ensouled. And with that revelation, he realized  **she** crashed Angel’s exclusive party long before Spike did. She had been the second, not him.  _Ok, I can deal with that,_ he told himself while gulping his whisky and glancing at her cleavage,  _yeah,_   _I can_ _ **definitely**_ _deal with that._ For the next hour Scarlett told them tiny bits and pieces of her life story and some anecdotes as a vampire, so when she got to the part of her last couple of years as the Slayer, Scarlett purposely omitted his name and sparing his life. But Spike could tell that Angel was analyzing that part of the tale, he knew Spike all  **too** well and his obsession with Slayers. When she finally mentioned how she died, it all clicked in Angel’s head, only that Spike couldn’t figure out what was that last piece of the puzzle his grandsire just solved. He briefly felt Angel’s eyes set on him like razors, and Spike decided to ignore him.  _Like I sodding care what you think._ "You said New York, 1987, right?", Angel asked her, and before she could confirm, he added "I was living in NYC too and now I remember why I know you."

What followed was something Spike was not really prepared for. It turned out that back then, when part of his gang was fighting the Slayer, a couple of his men were fighting some homeless guy. Said homeless had been Angel in his most unmemorable of times. So when Rose -Scarlett- collapsed, Angel saw the whole scene and went to her aid. Absolutely wounded and bloody, just like her, he had checked on her, not realizing some of the blood from his injures had dropped in her mouth. He had thought her dead, so he had run away when the other vampires were coming after him.

_Bloody hell, he’s her sire, unbelievable, the sod is_ _ **her**_ _sire! Not fair._ He didn’t like it, it bothered him big time. He glanced back at her and she was still surprised at the revelation, and so was Angel. And after a while, she realized they were out of booze, and left to get another bottle. “So that tale she told about a showdown”…  _Here it comes…_  “it was you, wasn’t it?” Spike nodded, staring at his almost empty glass, “yup, that was me, and I take you figured out it was my gang who killed her.” “Pretty much, but I still don’t understand why didn’t you spill all the information about her. Guilt, maybe?”  _Judgemental much?_ “Not guilt, I had my own reasons. And before you ask, that’s none of your bloody business.”

Scarlett returned with a bottle a vodka, and Spike lashed out at it and filled his and her glasses. He knew Angel had his share of booze for one night, and hopefully would leave soon. And so he did, not before giving her their address and phone numbers. “I’m staying, night ain’t over for me yet,” Spike announced signaling the vodka, a small tone of defiance in his voice.  _Finally he’s gone, now to discuss important subjects._

He crossed his arms and leaned back on his chair, staring at her, how she was emptying her glass like it was water, and when she looked up at him, this time he didn’t look away. “What?”, she challenged him, with that same fiery look she had given him two decades ago.  _So much fire in those eyes,_ he thought while tilting his head and replying, “you  **know** what I want to know.” She smiled mischievously “No, I don’t.” “Ok then, I’ll be blunt. Why didn’t you off me?” And with that, she stood up and walked away.


	5. Chapter 5

Spike darted after Scarlett and intercepted her, cornering the woman against a wall. “What the  **bloody** hell was that about? I asked you a question,” he blurted, “and I’d very much appreciate if you answered me.” She merely stared at him, smiling amusingly, “why is it  **so** important? You should be happy you’re unlive and kicking”. Spike insisted again, “you’re gonna tell me.” “Oh man, it’s eating you up, isn’t it?” she chuckled. In a fit of frustration, he punched the wall right next to her head, “oh, come on, tell me!” She didn’t flinch, or blink, or move, it was as if nothing happened, she simply held her stare at him; and Spike couldn’t help admiring her resolve. And in one swift move that he couldn’t have anticipated, she grabbed him by the throat, pushed  **him** against the wall and whispered softly, but menacingly, in his ear “ **I’ll** decide if and when you get that answer, understand?” Under other circumstances he would have set himself free, but she was  **so** close to him that he could feel her lips brushing his earlobe, he could smell her hair and perfume, and he could feel her body almost against his. He didn’t want to set free, he didn’t want out of that position because he was aroused. “Don’t think for even  **one** second that you can intimidate  **me**. You are not the only one that can put a tough act”, she finished and let go of him. _Oh bollocks, I wasn’t counting on this,_  he thought while taking a quick glance at his pants. Rubbing his throat, he softly added, “I just wanna know, that’s all”. He studied her for a moment, trying to figure out her next move, if she had one. “Fine,” she said, “but we’ll do it my way. Like I said, you’ll get that answer when I see it fit. I promise. And you are also going to help me with a question I have.”  _Sigh, what choice do I have?_ He nodded in agreement. “Ok then, we’ll start by going out to get a drink,” she added. Spike was puzzled, “but… we are already in a bar, pet, and there’s Mr Vodka over there”, he pointed at the table. “A  **real** drink”, she smiled wickedly at him, grabbed the bottle, her coat, headed for the stairs and then to the exit.  _What? Did she mean what I think she meant?_ Spike thought while rushing to catch up with her.

Once in the street he asked, an etch of warning in his tone, “what did you mean with ‘real drink’?” She looked at him quizzically “you know what I mean, good ol’ O-pos”. He stopped on his tracks but she kept on walking. “I thought you were, you know, good? You know, soul and all,” he blurted at her. “I am, but I don’t forget what I am. What do you feed from?” she replied. Spike felt almost ashamed, “pig’s blood, been like that for years now, pet”. “Wow, you’ve completely forsaken your nature, haven’t you?” she added while putting her arm in his. Spike took a deep breath, “Well, I haven’t forgotten my nature, it’s just that I don’t quite fancy feeding from innocents anymore. Ya know, hello, I’ve got a soul, remember?” An edge of nostalgia in his voice, “I do miss the hunt, but I got better”. Part of him felt at a loss.  _She’s got to be bluffing, but what if she’s not?_  What if he was forced to kill her? He didn’t know if he could do it. Scarlett interrupted his thoughts, “see? that’s where you are wrong. You totally misunderstood-“. He spoke before she was finished, “what, you are gonna deny that you’re planning on feeding on people?” “It all boils down to semantics,” she casually replied, “people? Physiologically speaking, yes. Morally speaking, no way in hell. You see, this is London, a  **huge** city. And huge cities have insane crime rates. And what causes crime? Criminals. Cities like this are crawling with murderers and rapists. And that’s exactly what we are gonna hunt. They are as evil as any demon, well,  **almost**  any demon, and incarceration never works. Everybody knows that.” Now it made sense to Spike, and decided he could use some warm blood.

They walked around several streets and alleys but so far no luck. Spike didn’t care if they didn’t find any criminal, he was enjoying walking arm in arm with her, and every time she’d talk, he found himself staring at her lips move, craving to taste them. But after the incident at the bar he noticed she was stronger than him. Much stronger. He wasn’t sure how was it even possible, considering he had a century on her. So stealing a kiss could not be wise if he wanted to keep his bones intact. Yet he decided to ask her about it, and once again he found himself with a negative answer. Whether she was either giving him a hard time, or it was just her personality, Spike couldn’t decide.  _I hope she keeps to her promise of answering me that bloody question._ Just when uncomfortable silence was creeping in, she stopped walking and closed her eyes in concentration. He was starting to ask what was going on, when she suddenly pressed her forefinger on his lips, forcing him to shut up. Spike closed his eyes and savored the moment, and then he felt a tinge of disappointment when she withdrew it.  _Right, let’s make this situation harder, shall we?_ He waited silently, staring at her, and after a few seconds, she snapped her eyes open, “we’ve got ourselves a baddie nearby”, she informed him, eyes full of glee and fire, a wicked smile on her face, “this way”, and she ran off. Spike chased close behind. “How the hell did you know?” he asked. “You know how some vampires can sense our souls? Well, after a decade of feeding from nothing but blood from evildoers I started sensing them from far away. After two decades, the radius incremented,” she explained. They finally arrived to a dark alley, where a man was waiting on a corner, and the vampires kept to the shadows, out of his sight. Spike saw a chance he wasn’t gonna miss so he leaned to her and whispered in her ear, returning the favor from the bar, “so what do we do now, pet, we jump him?” He was too tempted to lean towards her much more and fully smell her neck, soaked in perfume, but thought it better. “No, we give him a bait, make him feel he’s the predator and then show him he’s actually the prey.” she countered, smiling mischievously while taking off her coat and handing it to Spike. “No need to tell you I’m said bait, once he’s scared of me, that’s where you jump in,” she added winking. Spike felt he was going insane, her wicked plan and how she explained it turned him on  **really** bad. Not to mention the sight of her fixing her clothes to make her cleavage more prominent. And now he was watching her go with feline moves, pretending to be slightly drunk, bottle of vodka on one hand and a cigarette on the other. Spike definitely liked her. And as suspected, as soon as Scarlett got near the man, he grabbed her. She acted frightened and weak, and when the rapist thought he overpowered her and was about to touch her, she shot out a hand right to his throat and got to her feet. The man tried to set himself free from her grasp but couldn’t. “That’s right big guy, this time  **you** are the prey. Literally,” she said in game-face and sank her fangs on the left side of his neck. Spike joined her and bit him on the right side. It excited him to taste warm human blood again, but when he felt her hand grab the back of his head and her fingers stroking his hair passionately, he got completely aroused and this time he wasn’t gonna hold back.


	6. Chapter 6

The corpse fell with a loud thud and now Spike was staring at her, watching her morph out of her demon face, watching her raise her arms in the air and stroking her hair as if in ecstasy, watching her sensual mouth and her chin caked in blood. Scarlett was about to say something, about to wipe the blood off her face, but before she could do anything at all, Spike charged at her, pinned her to a wall and began kissing her violently, licking the blood off her face _._  He was gonna enjoy the moment for as long as it lasted, even if she beat him to a bloody pulp, it would still be worth it. But to Spike’s pleasant surprise, she was returning the kiss with equal passion and violence, and now  **she**  was licking the blood off his chin. She broke the kiss for a moment, stared into his blue eyes and resumed. He could hear her faintly moaning through the kiss, could feel her body pressing hard on him, he wanted her badly.

Spike was beginning to unzip her pants, when she suddenly broke away once more and picked up her coat, but before he could grunt in protest she dragged him across the street. Between violent kisses, Scarlett forcefully opened a door, breaking the lock, and both vampires entered, closing the door behind them. Since he felt no mystical barrier, Spike realized this was either an abandoned place or a nest. Either way, he didn’t care what it was, all he wanted was to sate the overwhelming lust coursing through him. He pushed her hard against a wall and resumed unzipping her pants, just as she was taking his shirt off, then his pants. And once there was nothing between their skins, he picked her up, legs around his waist, walked a few meters to a ragged mattress he spotted and crashed on top of her.

He slowly traced his fingers down her spine and he felt her arc, a soft moan escaping her mouth. “You like that, pet?”, he asked seductively in her ear, already knowing the answer. She dug her fingernails in his back in response. Spike was kissing and nibbling her neck, and slowly began working his way down to her chest, licking and kissing her soft skin, her scent invading his nostrils and fueling his fire. His hand slowly traveled from her breast to her lower stomach. He looked up and smirked, taunting her, and Scarlett pulled him to her, forcing her tongue into his mouth; grunting in pleasure, Spike felt her hand grab his and slowly direct it towards her pelvis. He could feel her urge in her subtle moves, in the way her other hand was squeezing his shoulder. “Please,” she whispered, and he obliged. She moaned in his mouth when she felt his fingers in, and Spike lost himself in ecstasy at the feel of her moist skin, and after a while, when he had her exactly where he wanted her, his inner demon took over. Spike violently pinned Scarlett’s arms above her head, made her his prey and penetrated her; she let out a cry that fueled him even more, made him kiss her and bite her neck harder. With slight effort, she set her arms free and once more she dug her fingernails in the flesh of his back. It hurt him but he didn’t care, it made him ram her harder, faster, made them moan louder. He was lost in her, nothing restraining him, feeling completely free. And suddenly he felt her fangs sink hard in his neck, like a violent kiss, and Spike screamed in pleasure and pain. He felt her tongue lick his blood, still biting. “Fine, luv, I can play that game too,” he moaned, then morphed and sank his fangs in her.

_W-w-what?! H-how?! Her blood, it tastes…_ Spike couldn’t believe what he was experiencing, he had to be hallucinating or dreaming.  _God, it’s been over a century since I felt so clearly this particular taste in my mouth._  He could already feel the effects. His lust escalated, so did his pace.  _And is even more powerful than I remember._  He let her blood flow and wash over in his mouth. The powerful aphrodisiac was fueling his urges and his violent passion, he let go of her neck, morphed out and plucked her face off his neck to kiss her once more. He felt as time and space stopped, there was only the sounds of their moaning, nothing mattered except for the lust. And when he thought his desire couldn’t escalate more, he felt her quiver as she climaxed, but he didn’t want to just yet, he wanted to extend it as much as he could, and a few instants later, he climaxed as well.

Reality slowly crawled back in and Spike started to feel the slight pain in his neck, but didn’t care. He rolled away next to her, she was still agitated staring at the ceiling, he wanted so badly to know what was going on in her mind, and before he could ask she got up and walked to where their clothes were. “Running away already?” he asked, feeling annoyed. “No, I just want a smoke, you want one?” she replied as she fished the package and lighter from her coat’s pocket. “Sure, pet,” he said relieved while staring at her as she walked back to the mattress and lie down. Scarlett handed him a cigarette while she lit her own and then his. He rolled on his side, propped on his elbow and watched her. He liked that she didn’t try to cover her nudity and realized his lust wasn’t fully sated. His eyes slowly traveled back to her neck, to his bite mark.

"Did you know that your blood still tastes of Slayer’s blood?", he asked absently while taking a drag from his cigarette and she eyed him confused. "Have you ever tasted your own blood, pet?", he added amusingly. "Well, yeah, you know, the usual lick on a wound but nothing else. What’s the big deal?" she replied as if lost. He chuckled, "haven’t you noticed the particular strong taste?", he teased. "Yeah, I figured that’s what vampire’s blood tastes, you know, but I just tasted yours and is completely different," she countered while buttering her cigarette. He traced his fingers along her long hair, "the blood of a Slayer is the most exquisite blood a vampire could ever taste. It gives us a rush of strength, at least for a short while, among  **other**  effects,” he smiled seductively while putting out his own cigarette. “So my blood made you stronger?” she asked provocatively while tracing a finger along his chest. “Yes, a little bit it did, but that’s not the point. It’s the  **other** effect I’m talking about,” he whispered while licking her neck wound, “you see, the blood of a Slayer is a powerful aphrodisiac, and somehow yours happens to be  **extra**  concentrated. I only drank a bit of yours and it felt as if I fully drained a Slayer,” he concluded.

"Aphrodisiac, eh?" she smiled coyly, and Spike slowly nodded and added, "let me show you." He rolled her on top of him and sat up while ever so slowly bucking his hips, letting her feel his hard flesh against her. He stared at Scarlett and morphed once more as he slid back inside her, she closed her eyes and moaned in pleasure; and again Spike sank his fangs where he had before. She screamed in slight pain but didn’t stop him, and he let her blood flow freely. He soaked his forefinger in her blood, "it’s time you have a proper taste, pet," he purred while stuffing his finger in her mouth, "that’s right, lick it clean." His lust was growing rapidly, one hand rocking her hips, the other going from her neck wound to her mouth and back again. Spike repeated the action several times, feeding her lust. Seeing her suck his finger while he was fucking her at the same time was beyond ecstatic and he was beginning to lose himself once more. Scarlett dug her own forefinger in her wound and forced it into his mouth, he saw the fire in her eyes blaze more intensely, her earlier submission now completely gone, and with that, Spike realized  **he**  was  **her**  prey now.


	7. Chapter 7

Spike woke up and through a half-covered window he could tell it was already daytime, and it took him a couple of seconds to remember where he was. To his surprise, Scarlett was still there, sleeping and facing away from him. He silently got up and fetched his package of smokes from his coat, lit one, sat back on the mattress and examined all the marks on his arms, his chest and shoulders caked in blood, he could feel his flesh slightly aching in all the places the redhead had bitten and clawed, and chuckled amusingly to himself. His soft laughter woke her up, she turned around and looked at him, half-confused. “What time is it?” she mumbled, when she spotted the window and the sunlight, she sat right up, “shit, it’s already after noon, I was supposed to do some stuff”, she said and he added, “so eager to ditch a fellow out of your lair, are you, pet?”

She lifted an eyebrow at him in annoyance, “you kidding me, right?” Sheepishly he pleaded, pointing at the window, “don’t suppose you could spare me considering Mr Sunshine is out there.” She laughed, “no, not that, the fact that you thought  **this** shithole was my, and I quote,  **lair.** " Spike asked, confused, "then where the hell are we?" Scarlett snatched the cigarette from his hand and took a drag, "this was one of the nests I cleaned a couple of nights ago, never thought I would set foot on it again", she replied smiling to herself and laid back on the mattress, he laid down next to her, staring at the bite mark and the blood covering her neck. She didn’t seem intimidated by his scrutiny, she merely stared at the ceiling. He wanted to know what she was thinking, and part of his mind was reliving the events from the previous night.

She broke the silence, “I didn’t forget my promise”, Spike listened intently and she continued, “I also said you’d help me find answers to a couple of questions I had, and you did answer them.” Now he was more confused than before, “what ya going on about, pet?” She took another drag and a deep breath, “I always wondered what passion and pure lust felt like, and got my answers last night, that was one of my questions. The other question is directly linked to one of the reasons why I couldn’t kill you”, she finished, looking away as if embarrassed. “Go on,” he said while stroking her arm. “I guess I wasn’t joking when I made that joke about being a pity to dust such hot looking bloodsucker,” she laughed softly, “I guess a dark part of me wondered how would it be to have sex with you.” Spike gave her an incredulous stare. “I’m not kidding”, she snapped, “I didn’t realize at the moment. I honestly wondered about it, and you answered that question as well last night. Second reason, and this is the more serious one, was because I saw something in your eyes, even when you were in demon face, I saw a tiny bit of potential in you to do good. And now you have a soul, so definitely my hunch was not wrong at all, and I’m glad I followed it,” she finished.

Spike didn’t know what to say, except for a “thank you”, he didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable that she already was. “No problem,” she replied while getting up. She got dressed and checked the time on her cell phone. “I really need to go,” she said, and he gave her a questioning look, “are you outta your mind, luv? You forgot it’s daylight out there,” he pointed at the window. She grinned and replied, “that’s not a problem, I know some  **very** good witches.” Spike was petrified, “you’re saying you can walk out there in broad daylight and not turn into a sodding pile of dust?!” She nodded, and he added with resignation, “I guess I cannot convince you to keep me company since it seems I will be stuck in here until bloody sunset.” She replied apologetically, “no, sorry, but I could get you out of here and to your place. If you don’t mind traveling in the trunk of a car.”  _I guess I have no other choice, would have rather wait the hours away here with her and have another wild round._ "Alright, let’s do that then", he said. "I’ll be back in about fifteen, twenty minutes. I’ll park as close to this door as possible, I got some blankets that you can use as cover. You get in fast, ok?" she said while handing him her cell phone so he could type the address where she would be taking him.

Once she was gone, Spike slowly started to get dressed, thinking about their conversation, thinking about everything that happened the previous night, thinking about the taste of her blood. That had been beyond glorious, he never thought he would taste the blood of a Slayer ever again, and the best of it was that it happened during an extremely wild round of sex.  _And that I got to taste it without taking a Slayer’s life._

After about fifteen minutes he heard a car stop outside and, soon after, Scarlett came in and tossed him a big blanket, “ready? Go.” Spike covered himself, ran out and jumped inside the trunk and she closed it. They weren’t far from the place where he and Angel were staying so the trip would take five minutes, tops. He didn’t mind the lack of air, of course, he didn’t need it, but he was uncomfortable in there. Some minutes later, he felt the car go down a ramp and come to a stop, and then she opened the trunk. “Here we are,” she greeted him as he climbed out. He couldn’t help a snort, “should have guessed you’d drive a bloody convertible,” she grinned and added as she sat behind the wheel, “oh yeah, I love them.” Spike wanted to kiss her goodbye, taste her lips and blood again, but she started the engine, said, “see you some other time”, and drove away from the underground parking lot.

Spike took the elevator from the the parking lot to the fifth floor, he got into the flat and out of the corner of his eye he noticed Angel reading the newspaper and brooding as usual. “So what happened after I left?” the elder vampire asked, and Spike ignored him, he just wanted to crash in his bed and sleep some more, he still felt exhausted and sore. He shut the door behind him, stripped from his clothes, laid down and closed his eyes. He could still feel traces of her blood in his system, could still feel the frenesy. His brain was in overdrive and memories from last night kept popping in his mind as he slowly fell asleep.

* * *

_[…]I always wondered what passion and pure lust felt like.[…]_

* * *

_[…]Scarlett dug her own forefinger in her wound and forced it into his mouth, he saw the fire in her eyes blaze more intensely, her earlier submission now completely gone, and with that, Spike realized_ _ **he** _ _was_ _ **her** _ _prey now. She clung fiercely to his shoulders and started rocking her hips violently, smiling wickedly, she grabbed him by the hair and pulled his head back. She morphed once more and sank her fangs hard in his flesh. He screamed and moaned in pain, it hurt like hell, but he bloody well liked it. And once she was done biting him, she grabbed him by the wrists, pushed him against the mattress and began riding him absolutely violently. Spike wanted to free his hands, wanted so badly to claw her back, to bite her, but couldn’t, she was far stronger than he was and the sense of helplessness fueled his lust even more. Scarlett was staring fiercely at him, the fire in her eyes was now a raging inferno. She licked his face, his neck, his chest and she purposely moaned all sorts of taunts in his ears. He could feel her skin burning and sweating, could feel her body convulsing in absolute pleasure, just like he was. He was her prey and there was nothing he could do except submitting and let her do whatever she wanted with him. He bucked his hips against her, in defiance, as hard as he could and she screamed his name._

 _That did it for him, that gave him all the strength he needed to turn the tables. He set his hands free, now_ _ **he** _ _grabbed_   _ **her** _ _by the wrists, rolled her over and trapped her under him. He smirked viciously in victory, morphed and sank his fangs in her neck, while ramming her as hard as he could. She screamed and moaned and gasped. Her blood flowing in his mouth once more, freely, giving him strength and amplifying his lust. He felt her struggle, she wanted to free herself, to be on top, to be in charge, but he wouldn’t let her. For the first time since he got his soul back, he felt free to let his demon out, to let it rule him without remorse. For the first time in years he was facing an equally vicious demon, just like he had been yearning for so long._

_She once again got the upper hand and overpowered him, her eyes full of vengeance. Sexual vengeance. Spike knew Scarlett would make him pay for claiming the top, he was counting on it, yearning it. She grabbed his wrists with primal strength and he revelled in his own pain. He loved feeling this pleasurable agony, he loved the way she was punishing him for his earlier insurrection. When climax finally reached them, she let his hands free and collapsed on top of him, still quivering. Her agitated breath caressing his ear. He wanted so badly to call her animal, but he knew first hand girls didn’t like to be called that, no matter how true it was.[…]_

* * *

_[…]Why didn’t you off me, pet?_

_Because I saw something in your eyes, I saw a tiny bit of potential in you to do good.[…]_

* * *

Spike woke up panting, covered in his own sweat and remains of Scarlett’s blood, his dreams about last night still pulsing hot on his flesh. It was still one hour until sunset, so he decided to have a smoke before taking a shower. He was covered in her scent, her blood and traces of her sweat. The primal part of him didn’t want to wash any of that away, but he knew he had to, after all he was living a sort of human lifestyle. He fished in his coat for his package of smokes and his Zippo, but couldn’t find it, so he took a box of matches out of the nightstand’s drawer and lit his cigarette. He decided he’d worry about his lighter after his shower.

When he finished smoking, he picked up some clean clothes and headed to the bathroom. Although his skin was beginning to heal, the hot water felt both good and painful against his wounds. He couldn’t help thinking about everything that happened, last night had been mind blowing. He closed his eyes and soaked in the memories, the smell and taste of her blood, the sound of her moans, the violence of her bites.

The shower took longer than he had expected, for he had to vent his sexual urges after all that thinking, he haven’t felt this uncontrollable lust in a long, long time. Spike dried himself, put on his clothes and headed out. “Good evening to you too,” Angel greeted and asked, “so what did you talk about with Scarlett last night? Is she gonna help us out? I mean, it would be nice to have her around if we’re gonna start over the agency to help the helpless.” Spike sighed, “I don’t know, Angel, I’ll leave matters about the agency to you, after all you’re the one that likes to play bossman, mate. Right now I kinda want to find my lighter.” Spike suspected that he either dropped it in that nest, or in the trunk of Scarlett’s car. He was really hoping it was the second option, because I’d give him an excuse to seek her out.


	8. Chapter 8

He went back to the nest, as soon as he entered he closed his eyes and took a whiff, the smell of Scarlett’s blood and her scent still lingering in the air. He looked around but there were no signs of his Zippo.  _Her car it is,_ he smiled to himself and took off. The first place he was gonna drop by was the bar from last night. He scanned the place around, but no signs of her. Spike ordered a whisky and sat at the bar, and after an hour of waiting he got anxious and left. His last option was the graveyard, and again, no signs of her after half an hour.  _Bloody hell, I’m outta places to search around._ He knew he could track her down easily if he picked a slight trace of her scent. After last night he had it locked in big time. He could track her from miles away,  **if** he knew where to start looking, so he wandered about until he finally picked it near a commercial area. unfortunately, it was a dead end.

He felt he was running out of options, except for one. He had to call her but he didn’t want to, he didn’t want to have to ask Angel for her phone number.  _Bloody hell,_ he sighed and punched Angel’s number on his cell phone. “Hey boss man, need ya to gimme the bird’s number. I remember she used my lighter to lit her smoke last night and forgot to give it back.” He wasn’t going to explain what really happened. “Well, I happen to be quite fond of that lighter, ok? Just gimme the bloody number already. Uh huh, uh huh. Got it,” he ended the conversation and dialed Scarlett’s number. After a few seconds, she picked up, “Hello?” Spike smirked and replied “Hello there, pet.” Spike explained the reason of his call; he didn’t want to sound merely interested on his lighter so he made up whatever small talk he could but soon ran out of topics, except for one: the happenings of last night, but he would rather discuss those  **personally**. “All right then, I’ll meet you there. And thank you, pet,” he finished the conversation and headed to the location she had given him, which was the graveyard he visited before.

As he was crossing the street to the cemetery a bike raced to a stop next to him. It was Scarlett, and Spike gaped in awe. “Bloody hell, a Ninja?!” She nodded at him, and fished the Zippo out of her coat’s pocket, “here it is, you indeed dropped it in the trunk.” Spike lifted an eyebrow, “a convertible  **and** a Ninja, no wonder you took offense at the whole lair thing.” She laughed, “you should see my  **actual** car. The one you saw is the one I use for hunting, I carry all my weapons and gadgets in it.” Spike lit a smoke and looked at her incredulously, “you’re making that up, pet.” She chuckled, “fine, don’t believe me if you don’t want.”

Spike couldn’t help thinking once more about what she said last night, about passion and lust, he wanted to ask her but wasn’t sure how to approach the subject. He didn’t want to say anything that may infuriate her. So he decided he could bring up the subject of the agency he and Angel were planning on opening here. When his grandsire came up with the idea, Spike had wanted to stake himself, he didn’t want to work on a bloody agency, least with Angel, no matter how that would help the helpless, nor he had wanted to live in London; but now he found himself wanting to live here, and if Scarlett agreed to help them out, he was more than eager to work in the bloody agency. But before he could even mention the subject, they both spotted a vampire and Scarlett was already in motion and drawing one of her swords. Spike chased right behind, outran her and tackled the foe, who managed to escape only to run into a wooden-pointed sword right though his heart.

They strolled around the cemetery. “That’s one ingenious weapon you’ve got there, pet, well, actually two, if I remember correctly. Where did you get them?” “Custom made,” she said as she draw the second one, “I don’t really like stakes, they lack finesse. I used to fence a lot when I was child. I call them ‘Pride’ and ‘Glory’.” “You named your swords?,” he asked incredulously. “Their names are engraved, see?” she replied while pointing at the markings. Spike was truly impressed, these were indeed  **very**  fine weapons. He noticed the fine craftmanship in the metal setting framing the wooden ends. “I have a second set with no wooden ends. That set is called ‘Pain’ and ‘Suffering’, and I also have a set of daggers with wooden ends like these swords” she added proudly. Spike lifted an eyebrow, “you have a weird fixation for bloody sharp objects that are deadly for our kind.” Scarlett shrugged, “I guess so, I just happen to like weapons,  **any**  sort of weapon.” He chuckled, “yeah, I remember you had that trait back when you were al-“, he stopped when he realized where this conversation was heading to. Although last night at the bar the three vampires talked about Scarlett’s death, the subject of Spike being somewhat responsible for it wasn’t mentioned in front of her. He didn’t know how would she react. But then again, if she had been angry, she wouldn’t have slept with him.

"Alive?" she finished for him and Spike nodded, "I guess I should say I’m sorry, if that means anything, you must have been really furious for turning into the thing you were born to kill," he truly meant the words. "Don’t be sorry, those were the rules of our nature. Slayer kills vampire, vampire kills Slayer," she said and before she continued, Spike added, "true, but you didn’t kill me, you didn’t follow that rule." She continued, "like I told you earlier, there was a reason why, besides, you didn’t have a soul back then. And for the record,  **you** didn’t kill me, it was your  **crew**. Yeah, I heard them mention your name while we were fighting. And no, I wasn’t furious that I died, nor that I became a vampire, I was still me with all my sense of righteousness and wanting to do good on my own terms, at my own pace, without depending on anyone, feeling free. I lasted long enough and it was my time. The only downside was the people I left behind.” Spike stopped on his tracks, “hold on, free? You didn’t want to be the Slayer anymore?” Scarlett lit a cigarette and took a drag, “no, I did want to be the Slayer, it’s just that some stuff got kind of overwhelming and spun my head.” “What stuff?” he asked. “It’s kind of personal,” she replied. “Excuse me, luv, but after last night I don’t think that the embarrassed card applies,” Spike realized what he said and silently cursed himself. This wasn’t the way he wanted to bring up  **that** particular subject. “I’m sorry,” he said when he noticed her surprised look. Scarlett took a deep breath and another drag, “It’s ok, everybody knows where a man’s brain is located at,” she chuckled then stopped walking and got serious, facing him, “just because I have a particular style it doesn’t mean I’m easy or a slut. What happened last night was completely out of character from my part.”

Spike felt at a loss and slightly annoyed, “let me guess, you are gonna tell me you feel disgusted with yourself for doing all those things we did. Let me tell you something, pet, I’ve heard that one before and she kept crawling back to my door for more. You enjoyed it bloody well as I did.” She put her hands on her hips, “no, I didn’t feel disgusted at all, I indeed  **bloody** well enjoyed it. What I’m saying is, don’t get the wrong idea with me. You don’t know me, you don’t know why I let that happen. I don’t want to be used, I’m not a toy, ok?” she replied angrily and stormed off to where her bike was parked. Spike chased after her, “I said I’m sorry, ok?” Scarlett started the engine and looked at him, “and I heard you, good night,” she sped off and was gone before Spike could say anything else.  _Bloody brilliant, well done, Spike._

He wandered around for an hour before going back to the club. He was hoping Scarlett would be there but she wasn’t. A full bottle of whisky later he decided to call her but she either didn’t want to answer or was busy. He was upset at her but mostly he was upset at himself. He was completely attracted to her, and that attraction grew stronger once he tasted her blood. Their chemistry last night had been volatile, wild and raw. He  **really** liked that, she had surrendered herself completely to him,  _and now she’s in a righteous position? Why? What am I missing?_ His cell phone ringing interrupted his thoughts and was surprised when the caller ID showed Scarlett’s number. He was even more surprised when she told him she would meet him at the club.


	9. Chapter 9

Scarlett arrived ten minutes later, she no longer looked furious but now she looked defensive. Before getting to his table, she’d picked up a bottle of whisky from the bar. She filled their glasses. Spike stared at her silently, trying to figure out why she decided to meet him. She gulped her glass before starting, “ok, I’m gonna explain as much as I feel like, ok?” Spike lit a cigarette and leaned back on his chair, “fair enough, pet.”

Scarlett also lit a cigarette and poured more whisky in her glass, “to understand my reaction you need to know where I come from. I’ve been a freak, an outcast all my fucking life. I barely had any friends at all, the only people that I had in my life were my mom, my watcher and my boyfriend. I may have great social skills when it comes to people I help or I interact on a regular basis that are not part of my personal life, but when it comes to people getting close to me I don’t know how to act. And this is because I was the Slayer, so when I became a vampire I thought that would change. I was wrong, it became worse because I didn’t belong to neither world. I wasn’t a human, but I wasn’t a vampire either, in the sense of vampire standards, I mean. I thought that somehow I could be a normal girl and I was wrong.”

Spike understood her completely, he had seen and heard Buffy some years ago say something along those line. He poured some more whisky and asked “why you thought it would be different?” She took a deep breath, drank more whisky and continued, “because I was no longer bound to my Slayer duty. The irony of this is that while I was still alive all I wanted was to be the Slayer, to do my best. It was my priority over  **everything** else, including my love life. And when I died and I had the freedom to keep fighting without any attachments, all I wanted was a sort of normal life, you know, considering I was an undead.”

Spike pondered if to ask her or not, but his curiosity got the better of him, “you wanted to be with your boyfriend now that you were no longer bound to duty, ain’t it?” She forced a laugh, “one would think so, but no, I didn’t want to be with him. I didn’t know what I wanted but for sure it was not him.” Spike was surprised by her answer, “I remember back when I tracked you down in LA and then NYC, that you had been with that same boyfriend for several years, is there something I’m missing here?” She drank more whisky before answering, “that’s the thing. I  **did** care for him, a lot, but I always felt something was missing, I never felt passion with him, I didn’t truly love him; and me being the Slayer didn’t really help at all. Couldn’t afford to be picky, you know? I was never aware of this until my last year as a human. Some time after I moved to NYC he proposed to me and at first I was happy; but then he started planning our lives,  **my** life, in ways that it would interfere with my Slayer duties.” “Such as?” he asked. “Such as planning children, I mean, yeah, that’s what  **normal** couples do, right? Except I didn’t want children, nor the whole housewife cliché. He didn’t exactly understand the extents of being a Slayer: danger, staying up till almost dawn, etc, etc. And even if I wanted children, what was I gonna do? Go out patrolling with an advanced pregnancy? Not to mention the fact that Slayers have a short lifetime. I knew what my risks were but he didn’t. I knew there was the chance of me getting killed either after getting married, or while pregnant or after I gave birth. I wasn’t gonna bring a child into this world knowing he or she would lose their mom quite soon. And all that clusterfuck of emotions sank in me the night I got killed,” she finished.

"You had a death wish," Spike added while he lit another smoke. He knew exactly what she meant, "you wanted it over, but why didn’t you break up if you didn’t want that for your life?" She sighed, "I didn’t want to hurt him, and it wasn’t like I planned to die either. It simply happened, I know I could have taken all your gang but I was too overwhelmed with all my drama and I let my guard down and didn’t fight at full strength. In a way, I let myself get killed. That’s why I’m not angry at you for me being dead," she finished, and gulped another shot of whisky.

"Ok, you didn’t want him, and I take he never knew what really happened to you, then what did you want, pet? What made you think that being a vampire would make your situation change?" Spike asked as he put out his cigarette and poured more whisky in his glass. "I don’t know, I guess I didn’t want to be alone, but alas I ended up being completely alone, and I became somewhat paranoid," she replied, and Spike interrupted before she could continue, "paranoid? About what?" She chuckled and answered, "men. Not knowing how would they react about me being a vampire. Like I said before, I don’t belong to neither world. Humans are afraid of me, and vampires hate me because well, I have a soul and evil bloodsucker I see is an evil bloodsucker I stake. So as you can see, there was like zero chances at any sort of relationship, even if it was a one-night-stand. I couldn’t afford having a slight chance at me being staked in my sleep."

Spike wasn’t sure he understood what she meant, and his confused face prompted Scarlett to reply before he even asked, “what I’m saying is that prior to last night, the last time I slept with someone was the night before I died.” The confession made Spike spit the whisky he was just drinking, “beg pardon? How did I get to be the exception?” _That explains all the passion and lust from last night_ ,  _two decades of no sex, bloody hell_ , he thought while waiting for her answer. She stared at her glass, purposely avoiding eye contact, “is not like I planned it, it just happened, and I didn’t stop you because I wanted it to happen and I felt I could trust you that you wouldn’t stake me in my sleep. You and Angel are the only two vampires I met that actually didn’t want to dust me because I, like both of you, have a soul. Same reason I wouldn’t stake either of you.” Spike didn’t like that Angel was brought into the mix, “so if it had been Angel the one that stayed instead of me, you would have slept with him?” he asked with an edge of annoyance. “No, I wouldn’t have. Remember I told that twenty years ago I wondered what sleeping with  **you** would be like. Chance was at hand, we both were in the mood and it happened, and I don’t regret it,” she replied and gulped what little whisky remained in the bottle. “I’m gonna get another of this,” she said pointing to the bottle and left.

Spike was still trying to process all the information, yet he couldn’t figure out why she acted all mad and defensive earlier at the cemetery. Scarlett intrigued him and raised a million questions in his mind. He surely wouldn’t have guessed that a girl as gorgeous and mysterious as she was would be completely lonely for two decades. He felt bad for her, not having anyone to confide or talk or anything for two full decades. Scarlett returned with a brand new bottle and poured more whisky in their glasses. Spike gulped his shot and asked, “why did you get so angry at me earlier?” She raised her glass, staring absently into it and replied “I don’t know.” Spike raised an eyebrow and leaned on the table, forcing her to make eye contact, “I don’t buy it, so spill it out, pet.” She took a swig and sighed heavily, “like I said, I don’t know how to act when it comes to certain subjects and I don’t know how I feel about it, I’m not exactly a scholar when it comes to these matters. I have slept exactly with two men in my life, remember?”

Spike felt there was  **something** she was hiding, but couldn’t figure what. “Ok, enough about me. Now  **I** get to ask questions,” she said, and Spike sighed, “fair enough, what you wanna know, pet?” She poured more whisky, “how you got your soul? Did you piss off gypsies like Angel said he did?”  _Oh bloody brilliant, couldn’t it be an easier question?_

Spike spent the next couple of hours retelling everything that happened to him since the moment he set foot on Sunnydale; and since Scarlett had answered all his questions, he did the same. They were on their fourth bottle of whisky by and just only then they were starting to be somewhat tipsy, and Spike noticed she was relaxed, all the defensiveness completely gone. Once the bottle was empty, she stood up and put on her coat. “Leaving already?” he asked surprised and she replied, “yup, I’d love to keep drinking and talking with you, but I don’t want to get drunk if I have to drive home. I can drive you to your place if you want.” “Sure,” he said, although he didn’t want her to leave, and added, smirking, “don’t suppose you’d let me ride that Ninja, do you?” She chuckled, “no, you cannot ride the Ninja because I brought my car, and there’s  **no** way I’m gonna let you drive my car.” Spike raised an eyebrow and teased her while walking out of the club, “you mean that old convertible I had the pleasure of travelling in the trunk? Pftt.” “No, not the convertible but  **that** car,” she said while pointing across the street. Spike felt his jaw drop, “son of a bitch! You got a bloody Viper?!” Scarlett smiled mischievously, “uh huh, I have a thing for weapons  **and** wheels.”

He didn’t know if it was the alcohol, or the excitement about the car, or what; but as soon as they reached the first traffic light he felt the urge to kiss her, and she didn’t resist. When the light finally changed to green, she softly asked, “do I really have to drive you to your place?” He shook his head while smiling seductively, and Scarlett sped off.


	10. Chapter 10

Spike rolled to a side, still panting and covered in sweat, he took a moment to look at Scarlett's bedroom and was amazed, “bloody hell, I now see why you were disgusted at that nest, I’m surprised you even dared to sleep on that ragged mattress considering that every night you sleep on this huge, comfy bed.” He looked and caressed the black satin sheets and couldn't help thinking that bed screamed the word ‘sex’.  _And ironically this is the first time this bed is used for that, I wager._ She burst into laughter, “yeah, I’m surprised myself, but the mattress wasn't my priority.” Scarlett leaned towards her nightstand and opened a small door in it, and Spike took a glance to see what she was doing and he realized that it wasn't really a nightstand but a mini fridge that  **looked** like a nightstand. “You've got to be kidding me,” he said while Scarlett was retrieving some ice from it and put it in a glass. “How on bloody earth you manage to live like this?” he asked, and she simply said, whispering close to his ear, “it’s a secret,” she then got up and grabbed a bottle of whisky from a small table next to the door. “You want one?” she asked him while holding the bottle, and Spike nodded. She poured the liquid in two glasses and walked back to the bed. He was waiting for her to hand him a glass but she opened the mini fridge once more and asked, “you want some blood in your whisky?”

Spike sat up and looked at her questioningly, “beg pardon?” Scarlett retrieved a blood bag from the mini fridge and poured some blood in her glass, then raised the bag and asked him again, “I asked if you want some blood in your whisky.” Spike nodded, “so I take you rob blood bags from hospitals, eh, pet?” Scarlett gave him a scolding stare while handing him the glass, “I only drink the blood of evildoers, remember? I got some connections in the Penitentiary department and they provide me with yummy blood from the worst individuals in there,” she replied before drinking.

Spike was truly impressed, this girl managed to lead an almost human life. She laid down next to him and rolled on her side, facing him. Spike savored his drink, the taste of human blood once more caressing his throat, and not feeling guilty about it. “And here I thought my crypt was posh,” he said half smiling. He finished his drink, laid down and rolled to his side to face her. “Can I ask you something? And please don’t deny me the answer,” he asked softly. She sighed and replied, “I’ll do my best.” He caressed her lips and asked, “how did those witches made you able to walk in the sunlight? The last time I was able to look at Mr Sunshine was three years ago thanks to necro-tempered glass inside Wolfram and bloody Hart.” She took a deep breath before answering, “two years ago I saved an entire coven from a massacre, they had been crippled, not being able to fight back with their powers. After that I lent them some of my witchcraft books and helped them rebuild their place. They were surprised when they saw I was a vampire, and as reward, once they had their powers back, they enchanted some jewelry that protects me from the sun. Now before you ask, no, you cannot use them because the spell cast on the items is linked to my soul. It only works on me.” Scarlett noticed a small trail of sadness in Spike’s face and quickly added, “but every single window in this house is covered with necro-tempered glass, so tomorrow you’ll be able to see the sun. well, if you decide to spend the night here.” He raised an eyebrow, “you also have necro-tempered glass? I thought only W&H had that.” She laughed, “sweetie, is not rocket science, nor Pentagon-type of classified and confidential secret.”

Spike so wanted to ask her to get him a ring but he just couldn't, he didn't want her to think he was using her, so he decided instead to change the subject. “How did you manage to be all by yourself all these years, pet? No one to talk to, no one to vent your frustrations, no one to shag, no one to share your happiness and miseries, no one to love,” he asked. She shrugged, a trace of sadness in her eyes, “I shut down most of those feelings. Or more precisely, I re-directed them into one single feeling: violence. Whenever I feel sad, I seek out a nest or a demon and unleash all my frustration on it. Same whenever I had… urges. It helps, to some extent. That, or learning something new. That also helps sometimes.”

Spike remembered what she said earlier in the bar, “you said you couldn't trust nor humans nor vamps to have sex with, I understand the hate vamps have at ensouled little us, always trying to kill us; but why you assume all humans would react like that, pet?” She remained silent for a few moments before she answered, “I don’t. Being staked in my sleep is not my only concern. I cannot afford the risk of getting too invested with one of them.” Spike gave her a judging stare, “what, you are saying you are too good for them, that they are not worthy of you?” She shot a look at him, clearly hurt, “god no, I would never…” Her words trailed off for some seconds and then added, “I cannot risk getting involved with a human, knowing that I’m an immortal and they are not; and that I cannot do anything to change that.” Spike noticed unshed tears in her eyes. She got up and quickly changed the subject, “I’m gonna get some chocolate, I’m having some major craving.” She donned a robe and left.

Spike wanted to kick himself for the previous comment. He turned on the nightstand light and looked around the bedroom. It was huge, the walls covered in dark wood, on his way to the balcony he noticed a walk-in closet, and on the opposite wall he saw the bathroom. The view was magnificent, all of London spreading before his eyes. Even though she was quiet, Spike heard Scarlett return. “You've got quite a view, pet,” he said. “Yeah, that’s one of the reasons why I love this house,” she replied while cutting a chunk of chocolate and offering it to him, “it has almonds. I have an obsession with almonds.” Spike accepted it and savored it, “bloody hell, this is awesome.” She leaned on the balcony while savoring the chocolate, not caring about talking with her mouth full, “one day I’ll fulfill my dream of traveling all around Europe, specially Paris.” Spike raised an eyebrow and asked, “why haven’t you? You surely can afford it, pet.” She nodded, “yup, I can. But it doesn't mean I can go.” “How so?, he asked. “Doesn't matter,” she replied, and Spike decided to not push, it was clear she didn't want to answer, she had already answered too many of his questions.

Scarlett was staring absently into the distance, the moonlight lighting her face, and for the first time he could see the loneliness in her eyes and how hard she was trying to fight that back. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and once she opened them again Spike saw the sadness was gone, completely replaced by fire. She turned around and they began kissing passionately while heading back to the bed.

Spike woke up and saw the sunlight hit straight into his face and his first instinct was to fully cover himself with the sheets, “bloody hell!” It took him some seconds to realize his skin wasn't sizzling and remembered the necro-tempered glass. He also noticed he was alone in the bed. He got up, wrapped himself in the sheets and looked inside the luxurious bathroom, but Scarlett was not there, so he headed to the window. Safe behind the glass, he closed his eyes and let the sun wash over his skin. He could feel the warmth and it felt  **so** good. He remained there for a good five minutes before his cell phone began ringing and disrupted his enjoyment. He fished his phone out of his coat and looked at the caller ID, it was Angel. Spike sighed and picked up, “What you want?”, he said curtly. “Just checking out to see if you were still alive. And to let you know that I spoke with Andrew and he might get us an office through a contact he has in London,” the elder vampire said, and added, “where are you anyways? It’s daylight already, are you stuck in the sewers? If so… it sucks to be you.” Spike scoffed, “I know it’s daylight and I ain't stuck in no sodding sewers, mate. I can get safely home if I have to. Anything else? No? Ok, bye.” He cut the conversation and got dressed.

He got out of the bedroom and went downstairs, looking for Scarlett. He was impressed at the house,  _not a house, a bloody mansion,_ he thought. It looked like an early 1900s style but with some touches of modern designs. He entered the kitchen, which was impeccable and with a very modern design. And once he got out of it, he heard faint noises and music coming from another door at the end of the hall. He opened it and saw they headed downstairs,  _basement, why did it have to be a bloody basement?_ , but then decided to go down. Now the music was much louder, and the noises were Scarlett grunting. Spike poked his head around a wall and saw her punching and kicking a boxing bag. “Don’t think it’ll fight back, pet,” he shouted over the sound of Metallica,  _ha, she still has good taste in music._ She turned around, startled, “thought you’d be still sleeping”, she said, while turning off the music. Spike scratched his head, “well, Mr Sunshine decided to scare the shit outta me before I realized he couldn't hurt me.” She laughed, wiped her sweat off with a towel and walked up to him, “let me know when you’re ready for a ride home.” Spike raised an eyebrow, “and here I thought I could spend more time here watching the sun.” She shrugged, “sorry, I gotta leave in less than an hour, gonna be out of town for some days.” “How many days?” he asked. She shook her head, “I don’t know probably a week.”  _Bollocks,_ he sighed.


	11. Chapter 11

Spike entered the flat and found Angel talking on the phone, by the sound of it, his grandsire was speaking with Andrew. The blond vampire tried to sneak past to avoid any conversation with the older vampire, but Angel signaled him to stay; Spike rolled his eyes, grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat on the couch opposite to Angel’s. “Yes, Andrew, I understand. Sure we can wait ‘til your contact is back in England. And, Andrew, tell Buffy I said ‘hi’, ok? Bye.”

Spike drank his beer and asked, “so what news he has?” Angel shrugged, “he has a contact, as you already know, that has a small office, pretty much like the one I used to have in LA before moving to the Hyperion-“, Spike interrupted him, “oh yeah, I remember the place.” Angel continued, raising an eyebrow, “of course you remember, you trashed my personal space there trying to find the Gem of Amarra.” Spike chuckled. “Anyways, this person is currently out of the country and will be returning next week or so. From what Andrew says, he may be able to get us a deal,” Angel said while looking at some papers, then added, “why are you even asking? I thought you didn’t want to have anything to do with the agency?” Spike picked his words carefully before replying, he didn’t want to tip his hand, “getting out in the streets and do some good, kick some demon arse doesn’t sound so bloody awful, but please do us all a favor and don’t call it ‘Angel Investigations’ or I’m bloody out.”

Angel crossed his arms and leaned back, “really? I thought your reason was a red-haired ensouled vampire we just met.”  _Bollocks, the sod caught her scent._ "Yeah, so what? Is none of your bloody business what or  **who** I do,” Spike replied slightly angry. “True, except you may screw up any chance for Scarlett to work with us,” the older vampire replied, then added, “and I am to assume that you forgot to mention the agency to her.”

Spike got up and headed to his bedroom, he wasn’t in the mood to argue anymore. He took out his clothes, turned on the TV and laid down. The mention of the Gem of Amarra reminded Spike of the jewelry that protected Scarlett from the harmful sunlight.  _If only I had one of those, I could be out there instead of being trapped here with this sod ‘til bloody sunset._

* * *

Angel decided it was time to try an approach with Scarlett regarding the agency, it was clear that Spike didn’t mention it, nor he was planning to, and it was obvious that Captain Peroxide had another agenda with her. Angel only hoped that Spike’s impulses wouldn’t ruin any chance at having this girl as an asset to the agency. He picked up his cell phone and dialed her number, and after a couple of rings, she picked up. “Hello Scarlett, this is Angel speaking… Fine, thanks for asking, what about yourself?… The reason I’m calling is, I wanted to see if we could meet, got a business proposition and wanted to see if you were interested, today or tomorrow is ok with you?… Oh I see, well, I can explain briefly now and then we can talk further once you return… I’m trying to establish an agency here, pretty much like the one I had back in LA, remember I mentioned it, right?… Anyways the idea is basically the same, get clients, help them with supernatural incidents for a small fee depending on the case, the money we’d making, to be honest is not much but… You’re interested? That’s great, thank you very much. I’ll give all the details once you are back in London… Ok, we’ll talk later to arrange. Thanks for your time, bye,” he ended the call and sighed in relief,  _so far Spike didn’t upset her or anything. That’s good._

Angel sat down and stared at his cell phone, he was so tempted to call Buffy, he wanted to hear her voice. Despite being hurt after their last conversation, he still wanted to let her know once more what he felt for her. He didn’t know what she really felt, between leading Slayers, fighting evil and trying to live a normal life when she could, Buffy didn’t have the chance to sit down and analyze her feelings for Angel and Spike. When a year and a half ago Spike mentioned he was over her, Angel didn’t believe him; but the last times Angel mentioned Buffy, he noticed that the younger vampire didn’t react or anything.  _Maybe he’s really over her. I hope so, but still it doesn’t solve anything, not if there’s a chance she still feels something for him, and even if she doesn’t, there’s still my curse keeping us apart._ Angel dismissed his thoughts of Buffy, it hurt him big time.

He was serving himself a glass of pig’s blood when something that Scarlett said on the phone caught his attention.  _She said she was driving to Devon, but it’s the middle of the day. How is it even possible?_ He walked to Spike’s bedroom and knocked on his door, “you still awake?” “Sod off!” replied Spike. “Can you answer me how does a vampire drive in the middle of the day?” Angel asked, and it wasn’t really a question, more like a way to test Spike’s reaction. “I don’t know, mate, black painted glass, or necro-tempered glass, like the cars you had in Wolfram and Hart,” Spike replied. Angel almost accepted that answer but then he remembered something else, “ok, then how do you explain another vampire showing up two days in a row in the middle of the day?”  _I’m fairly certain she brought him home, so he knows what’s going on,_ Angel thought while waiting for Spike’s answer. “Just sod off already, I’m watching the telly,” was all that Spike had to say, and Angel decided to leave the subject for another moment.

* * *

Spike sat on the bed and lit a cigarette, when the realization sank in.  _Hold on. How does he know she was driving in the day?_  He got up, put on his jeans and stormed out of the room. “How do you know she was driving in the middle of the day?” he asked Angel. “Seeing that every time you manage to run into her you  **forget** " - Angel mimicked air quotes - "to mention the agency, I decided to call her and arrange a meeting for tonight, and she said she was driving to Devon." Spike remained silent. "So, Spike, I ask again, how is it possible that she’s out in the sun and not turn into dust?" Angel insisted. "Yes, she can go out in the day, ok? How is it possible? Sorry, mate, I can’t tell you," the younger vampire replied. "Aren’t you a little curious? Don’t you want to be able to do the same?" Angel asked and Spike scoffed, "no, you don’t understand, Angel, I  **do** know how, but I’m not going to tell you.” The older vampire was surprised and asked, “wait, you are protecting a secret? Or just being an asshole?” Spike shrugged, “bit of both,” he remained silent for a moment before adding, “did she say anything?” Angel considered omitting the conversation but decided not to, “I briefly mentioned the agency and she’s interested.”  _Perfect, I’ll be working with Ms Bombshell then,_ Spike smirked to himself and headed to his bedroom once more.

He laid down and made plans for the night,  _maybe I should go out, dust some vamps and go for a drink. Too bad I won’t have the bird’s company._ Although last night he didn’t taste her blood, he could still remember it. He had wanted it so badly, but since she didn’t take the initiative to bite him, he decided not to bite her. Scarlett was volatile, unpredictable; and Spike didn’t know what to make out of her, he didn’t know if she’d flip if had bitten her without her permission. All he knew was that she was a mystery even when she opened up and shared with him her darkest secrets. It seemed like she had two completely different personalities, one being this inexperienced almost human girl and the other being this self-possessed, know-it-all, voracious demon. He couldn’t decide which one of the two he liked most, but he knew he could relate with both of them.

* * *

**One week later**

Angel was glad when Andrew’s contact called him and they settled the rent, which thanks to Andrew’s intervention it would be half the normal rate. And if this man was back in town, so would Scarlett. He arranged a meeting with her and was surprised when she asked him not to tell Spike.  _What the hell did I miss?,_ he thought, and decided to abide.

When Angel got to the club, Scarlett was sitting at a table near the bar. “Sorry for the delay, was sorting some papers,” he said, and he noticed she looked somber. “Don’t worry about it. Listen, Angel, I’m deeply sorry, but I won’t be working with you guys,” she said. Angel was surprised by this, “what made you change you mind, if I may ask. Was it the money? I know it’s not much-.” She interrupted him, “no, it’s not the money. I wasn’t doing this for the money anyways.” Angel had a slight idea what was the cause, “is it Spike?” he asked and when she shot her look at him defensively, he  **knew** it was because of Spike. “I can’t work with you if he’s working there too,” she said. “What did he do to you?” Angel asked her, now feeling concerned. “He didn’t do anything,” Scarlett replied. “Then why? I’d rather have you working with me than him, he didn’t really wanted to work in the agency anyways,” he said. Scarlett shot a look at him and said, “no, don’t do that. He needs whatever little money can come his way.” Angel was completely lost.  _Ok, she first says she doesn’t want to work with him and now she’s defending him._ "Ok, help me out here because I’m not following your logic," he told her. "I’m just protecting myself," she replied sheepishly, and Angel realized what really was going on, "you have feelings for him, right?" he asked her, and the way she avoided eye contact confirmed his suspicion.  _And here I thought Spike wasn’t going to ruin anything this time._

"Yes, some time during my trip I reached that conclusion," she replied. Angel took a deep breath, "what are you going to do?" he asked her. "I don’t know. I can’t tell him, and you cannot tell him either, promise me, ok? I don’t want any complications," she concluded. "But I have to tell him something, not that, of course, if you don’t want, because he’s going to ask to no end why you don’t want to work with us," Angel explained. Scarlett took a drink, "ok, but I’ll do it. I know you two don’t exactly get along and the least I want is to screw up your future business," she said, and added, "thank you, Angel. I’ll still help if you guys run into something heavy, but working on a daily basis? I can’t. We’ll be in touch." She left some money on the table and left.

* * *

Spike was surprised to find himself alone in the flat, since Angel was always in there reading and brooding. The silence cheered him up, but what had him in a better mood was that Scarlett was back in London and called to see him.  _Bird must be feeling needy, much like I am,_ he thought while walking to the café they’ve arrange to meet. He was surprised she didn’t pick the bar but he assumed she must have had one of those chocolate cravings she mentioned a week ago.

"Beg pardon?" Spike asked in disbelief. Scarlett held her stare, "I said I’m not gonna be working with you guys, and you and I are not sleeping again."


	12. Chapter 12

Spike was having a hard time processing the information, “how the hell did this happen?” he asked. Scarlett’s expression was almost emotionless, and Spike considered once more his previous thought about her having two personalities, “are you a bloody schizo or something?” he asked bluntly, “I thought you wanted lust and passion, pet,” he added. “And I got it, don’t need to explain anything else,” she replied, got on her bike and raced away.

He was astonished, he certainly wasn’t expecting this.  _Women,_ he thought while walking back to the flat. When he arrived, Angel was already back,  _time to drop the lil bomb and I wager the sod is gonna blame it on me, I really hope he does, ‘cause I **really** wanna punch something. _Spike grabbed a beer and confronted his grandsire, “uhmm, you may wanna know, mate, that the bird doesn’t want to work with us, she changed her mind.” Angel looked up at him and replied, “how so?”

Spike felt something was amiss, he had expected Angel to act more shocked, or angry, or even accuse him. Instead, Angel said, “that’s a pity,” which made Spike even more suspicious. “You are a terrible liar,  **Liam** , you bloody knew it already, didn’t you?” he slammed his fist on the table, right on Angel’s papers. The older vampire simply replied, “yes, Spike, I did know,” and Spike could tell, by the look Angel had in his eyes, that his grandsire was blaming him. “You think this is my fault, ain’t it?” he shot at Angel, who simply remained silent.

Spike grabbed his coat and left, he was mightily pissed off and wasn’t gonna put up with Angel’s bullshit. He already was infuriated about Scarlett cutting him off without any explanation. He didn’t do or say anything that might upset her. He couldn’t figure out why she’d do that, and it was driving him insane. He was attracted to her, he liked shagging her, he liked the way she made him feel free, and he was sure she was attracted to him and felt freedom too, so her reaction made no sense to him.

He spent several hours in the bar, half expecting Scarlett to show up, and after two bottles of whisky, he was certain she wouldn’t show. He wasn’t going to call her or show at her door either, he knew it would infuriate her.  _Or maybe not,_ he tried to convince himself, but he had the feeling she would be mad, so he ended up going back to the flat.

* * *

The following day Angel was at the butcher’s when he spotted Scarlett walking in, he greeted her and after some small talk, he mentioned that Spike somehow picked up that Angel knew her decision of not wanting to work with them. They walked a couple of blocks and sat on a bench in the park, not knowing that Spike was watching.

* * *

Spike felt his anger grow,  _sodding bastard is putting moves on her, he must have filled her head against me._  He got as close as he possibly could without the other two picking his scent, just enough to hear their conversation.

"… but I don’t know how to handle it, I’ve never been in a situation like this, like I told you yesterday, I don’t know what to do," she was saying. "I always acted on instinct and usually worked out fine, but this time I’m scared to act on instinct, so I’m following my brain, and honestly I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing or not. And I’m not someone who is easily scared."

"You’re afraid to get hurt?" Angel asked.

"Yes, I am, but that’s not the only thing. You have no idea what I’ve been through, Angel. You men approach things differently than us women. And being the way I am, a vampire with a soul, who happens to be a girl, I had trusts issues regarding men…"

 _Is she telling him the same thing she told me?_ Spike felt hurt, he was beginning to wonder if that tale of her not having been with anyone in two decades was true or not, he certainly didn’t like being played.  _Is_ _ **she**_ _putting a move on him?_

"… and he shows up twenty years later in my life, with a soul, no less, just like me, and suddenly I realized that -no offense to you- he’s the only one out there that I feel I fit with. And I cannot do anything about it, because who am I to force someone’s feelings? He just sees me as a fuck buddy, and at first I felt that about him too, and now I don’t even know exactly what I feel, except that I feel something. I don’t know what to do." Scarlett finished and buried her face in her hands.

Angel patted her back, “give it time, don’t over analyze it, or it’ll be worse.”

Spike blinked, he wasn’t expecting this, but now it made sense why she flipped the way she did, she was having a major battle of wills between her soul and her demon self. He felt partially guilty because some of what the bird had said was true, he had seen their encounters as just sex. But he also knew he cared for her, after all she was an anomaly, just like he and Angel were.

That night sleep wouldn’t reach him, he kept analyzing every single conversation he had with her and what he overheard from her conversation with Angel.

* * *

_[…] I always wondered what passion and lust felt like. […]_

* * *

_[…] I felt I could trust you that you wouldn’t stake me in my sleep._

_I felt I could trust you. […]_

* * *

_[…] How did you manage to be all by yourself all these years, pet? No one to talk to, no one to vent your frustrations, no one to shag, no one to share your happiness and miseries, no one to love._

_I shut down most of those feelings. […]_

* * *

_[…] I didn’t want to be alone. […]_

* * *

_[…] Humans are afraid of me, and vampires hate me because I have a soul. […]_

* * *

_[…] I cannot risk getting involved with a human, knowing that I’m an immortal and they are not and that I cannot do anything to change that. […]_

* * *

_[…] He shows up twenty years later in my life, with a soul, no less, just like me, and suddenly I realized that he’s the only one out there that I feel I fit with. […]_

* * *

Spike realized he finally understood the puzzle that were Scarlett’s thoughts and feelings: _the moment the bird realized Angel and I had souls, she wanted to fit in, make herself a group of friends_. _The moment she knew Angel was her sire, she regarded him as family figure, a friend, a brother, that’s why he knew she didn’t want in the agency before I did, she confided in him. That’s why he knew why, while I didn’t know shit. And when she knew I had a soul she regarded me as a love interest, she was already attracted to me before she turned, she didn’t think it twice before shagging me. But she didn’t have feelings back then, or she wouldn’t have taken me to her place. Or if she did have then, she didn’t know it._

* * *

_[…] I always wondered what passion and lust felt like. […]_

* * *

Spike felt guilt slowly creep in when he realized that by ‘lust’ she actually meant ‘love’,  _and I wager she wasn’t aware at the time, that’s why she flipped._ He hated being responsible for messing with Scarlett’s feelings, even when he hadn’t meant to. She already had enough pain as it was and now he was adding more to it, and the worst was that he wouldn’t be able to apologize if she didn’t want to see him, and not without revealing he spied on her.  _Yup,_   _I’m royally screwed._


	13. Chapter 13

Spike woke up and heard Angel talking with someone, he got up and got dressed as fast as he could.  _Maybe she changed her mind and is considering working in the agency again,_ he thought as he walked out of his room, only to see, to his dismay, that it wasn’t Scarlett, but some old man; and for the type of conversation Spike realized this was Andrew’s contact. He grabbed a beer and went back to his bedroom.

An hour later, when he heard the man leave the flat, Spike went to the living room. “We got the office available now, it’s already furnished, so there’s very little that needs to be added,” Angel said as soon as he saw Spike. “That’s nice and all, but it’s not what I’m here for, mate,” he replied. Angel crossed his arms and asked, “then what is it?” Spike lit a cigarette, “you knew she didn’t want to work with us, yet you tried to play dumb. Actually, mate, you did play dumb. I want to know how did you know she changed her mind and why she did, and you better not bullshit me or I’ll get  **really** violent.”

Angel considered his options, not that he felt intimidated by Spike, he was only trying to find the best course of action. He didn’t want to tell Spike how and what he knew, because he had promised Scarlett; but on the other hand, if he remained silent, Spike would go after her and bug her to no end until he got an answer. So Angel decided to tell the half of it and lie about the reasons, “we arranged a meeting to discuss the agency and simply said she was not interested because of monetary reasons and that she liked being her own boss.”

Spike knew Angel was lying, he knew it bloody well. Not only because of what he overheard in the park the previous night, but also because he knew Scarlett wasn’t after money when it came to helping people. He knew how much she liked helping and fighting, she had told him so the night they slept in her place. So Angel’s lie confirmed what he had been fearing,  _it’s because of me, because she has feelings for me._  And Spike also realized that Angel lied to protect  **her**.

Later that night he decided he would try talking with her, but so far, she was not answering her phone. He checked the graveyard and finally went back to the bar, he sat on a table and waited. When he was on his second glass, he saw her walk in and go to the counter, and for split second they locked eyes, but Scarlett quickly looked away and leaned on the counter. During the second that it took her to see him and turn around, Spike could see without actually seeing how all her muscles tensed. He didn’t see, he simply knew it, felt it. He could read her body language easily. Scarlett was having her drink at the bar, she didn’t even try to get a table, so Spike decided to approach her. “Can we talk?” he asked and she sighed, “I don’t really want to, but you won’t give me a choice, right?” she replied before gulping her shot of whisky. He signaled her to follow him to his table, but she refused, “don’t see why we have to sit if this isn’t gonna take more than five minutes.” Spike nodded, “fair enough.”

He hesitated for a moment before asking, “what made you change your mind?” Scarlett scoffed and raised an eyebrow, “what? A girl cannot decide when to put an end to something?” “No, I’m not referring to that, I mean the agency. I know we didn’t get to talk about it, pet, but I know you were interested and then changed your mind. And knowing you, it seems weird because you like helping people and imparting pain to demons,” Spike said, and for a moment he could see her lowering her guard, but she didn’t, “you don’t know me. You think because we slept together and I shared stuff with you that you actually know me? You don’t know what I’m going through.”

Spike pressed on, “you still didn't answer, pet, why you changed your mind about the agency?” Scarlett shot him an angry stare, “because I don’t want to see you, I’d love to help out in the agency, but not if I have to see you everyday, ok?” Spike drank his whisky, “fair enough,” he said and left.

It was clear for Spike that she was in an awful position, she was developing feelings for him and it was getting in the way of what she wanted to do, and more importantly, it was hurting her. He didn't want that for Scarlett, she didn't deserve it, so Spike knew what he had to do.

Angel couldn't believe what he was hearing, “say what again?” Spike took a drag, “I’m going back to America. What’s the point on staying? The bird wants to work in the agency more than I do, and since she doesn't want to see me, this is for the best,” he said while picking up his stuff. Angel was still looking at him with a confused look, “she doesn’t want me around, mate, and this is her first chance in two decades at having someone to socialize, to not feel completely alone, even if that someone is an obnoxious brooding sod like you. I’ll be calling from time to time,” he added. “I feel flattered,” Angel said sarcastically, and Spike replied, “not you, you git, gonna be checking to make sure  **she** is fine. You’ll make sure she’s fine, ok?”

* * *

**Six months later**

"God, I  **hate** slimey demons, they are disgusting and icky and they stain my clothes.”

"Well, maybe you shouldn’t dress like Catwoman, maybe you should wear something more suitable for a fighting situation."

"Catwoman was a fighter, you dope, so your point is moot. Besides, the important point here is that the client was totally ogling at you. You should ask her out!"

"Shut up."

"Aw, come on, she was kinda hot, you liked her, don’t deny it," Scarlett elbowed Angel’s ribs.

"I’m not gonna date a client," Angel replied.

"Keep acting grumpy and broody and I swear to Yoda I’m gonna get a crow, throw it at you and pop behind you and spook you with a ‘hello brother’." She said and started laughing hysterically.

"What? I don’t get it." Angel said with hopeless confusion in his face.

"Bah, of course you don’t get it, you don’t watch enough TV."

Spike followed as far away as he could without missing their conversation.  _She looks happy, she’s laughing, she’s making jokes and, hell, I almost forgot how bloody hot she is._ Spike wanted so badly to talk to her right now, to kiss her, to feel her, but he wasn’t ready, not just yet, not until he spoke with Angel. Spike needed to know if Scarlett still had feelings for him, it would be painfully ironic if she didn’t.

 


	14. Chapter 14

Scarlett and Angel took separate ways, and as much as Spike wanted to follow the redhead, he followed his grandsire. Earlier that night, Spike went to the flat he and Angel used to share but it was now occupied by a family, so following Angel would reveal his current residence.

Angel was living in a flat in the same building as their office.  _Makes sense, he doesn’t have to go out in the bloody sunlight to get to work,_ Spike thought while lurking in the shadows. He underestimated his grandsire, because Angel sneaked behind the blond vampire, “what are you doing here, Spike?”

"Thought I should pay a visit to the family, eh, gramps?" he answered. Angel raised an eyebrow, "the truth, Spike," the older vampire insisted. Spike sighed, "I wanted to see how the bird was doing, mate. You got any pig’s blood? I’m hungry," he said. They entered the flat and Angel pointed at the fridge, "help yourself. Why come all the way to England? Every time you called I told you she was fine," Angel said. "Yeah, well, I don’t trust you saying the truth, mate," Spike tried to fool the older vampire, but Angel didn’t buy it. Spike took a deep breath, "I just wanted to bloody see her, ok?" he finally admitted, and added "does she still have feelings for me?"

Angel shrugged, “I’m not the right person to answer that.” Spike felt a chill down his spine, he needed to be sure, “is there something between you two?” he asked, feeling a slight tinge of rage creeping within. Angel took a moment before answering, “yes,” … _son of a bitch! I can’t believe this, you sodding bastard…_ "I went from having this strange companion to having a meddlesome sister figure that tries to set me up with every single attractive female client. That, or the daughter figure that speaks in foreign geek language and makes fun of me when I don’t understand. Either way, she has the power to drive me as crazy as you used to. Actually, no, she isn’t as bad as you," Angel finished smirking at Spike.

"You sodding bastard, I thought you and her-" Spike was saying, but Angel interrupted, "I know, and it was highly amusing to watch you boil." The younger vampire lit a cigarette, "now that you are done being a jerk, can you please tell me if she still has feelings for me?" Spike asked once more. Angel shook his head, "I don’t know, Spike. We haven’t discussed that particular subject in a while. Again, even if I knew, I’m not the one to answer that. Why do you want to know?"

Spike sighed heavily, “all this time I was in New York I kept thinking about her. At first I thought it was guilt, but after a couple of months I started to miss her. And, well, here I am, mate,” he explained and then asked, “any chance you’ll let a bloke crash in the couch?” Angel nodded, “fine, but you’ll have to find another place tomorrow. I've been living in so much peace for the last six months. I don’t want that to change.”

Spike woke up with full sunshine on his face, startled, he jumped behind the couch before he realized he wasn't sizzling.  _What did you know, he got necro-tempered glass, bet the office has it too._ He grabbed some pig’s blood from the fridge before getting dressed and headed to the office. He wanted to see Scarlett.

Angel was sitting on his desk when he saw Spike walk in, “no, no, no, get out of here, Spike, I’m working, don’t need a pest bugging around,” the older vampire protested. “Aw come on, I want to see the batcave. So, what name did you pick?” Spike asked as he grabbed a business card, “her last name? Classy.”

"We couldn't agree on names, so we ended up with it because it made the most sense," Angel explained. Spike frowned and asked, "how so? I know the agency was your idea, and she is just helping." Angel kept going through his papers, "well, it turns out that Scarlett is quite well connected, she knows people that can make information appear out of nowhere, as well as IDs and other stuff," he was explaining and Spike interrupted, "hold on, you are going around with a fake ID?" The older vampire nodded and added, "when she requested it, she told her contact to say I was her older brother. So yeah, my ID has her last name on it. Plus she put money from her own pocket to pay bribes and expenses to have the agency appear as if it was owned and run by humans. So yes, it made the most sense to call it ‘Scott-Thomas Investigations’."

Spike pondered, “when you mean ‘run by humans’, you mean you going out during the day to help a client?” he asked, almost sure of the answer. Angel remained silent, and Spike added, “she got her witches friends to enchant some jewelry for you, didn’t she?” Angel nodded, and the younger vampire simply said, “that’s great,” a trace of jealousy and sadness in his voice.

"Have you seen the morning paper? Another mutilated corpse in a dumps-," Scarlett was reading the newspaper as she was walking in, and stopped on her tracks when she saw Spike. "Hello there, pet," he greeted her, smiling.


	15. Chapter 15

Scarlett faltered for a moment before regaining her composure, “well, look what the cat dragged in,” she said, almost bitterly, “we thought the Earth swallowed you,” she added. Angel and Spike exchanged a quick glance, unnoticed to her. Spike lit a cigarette, Angel protested, but the blond vampire simply ignored him, “well, I had things to do,” he said. He wanted to have a talk with her, but not with Angel there as audience, but finally asked, “can we talk?”

Angel was about to protest when Scarlett replied, “fine, whatever, we’ll talk,” she threw Angel a glance that pretty much read ‘go’. The elder vampire stood up, snatched the newspaper from her hands and said, “I’ll go check that dumpster, see if there’s a clue on what sort of demon we are dealing with.”

Once Angel was gone, Scarlett crossed her arms, “ok, talk,” she said bluntly. “I know you have feelings for me, pet, or had,” Spike said without hesitation and noticed her eyes widen in surprise. “What the hell are you talking about?” she asked defensively, and Spike closed the distance between them in two fast strides, “what, you gonna deny it?” he asked, his face close to hers. Scarlett flinched for a split second before moving out of his way, “why do you even care anyways? You couldn’t take a ‘no’ and split in no time, and no, you are wrong, I never had feelings for you,” she replied harshly.

Spike scoffed, “is that why you think I left?” he asked and once more stepped in front of her, “and you don’t have to pretend, luv, I know for a fact that you  **did** have feelings for me. Oh yeah, I overheard your little conversation in the park with Captain Forehead,” he added and noticed her eyes were blazing with fire. Not the passional fire he had seen before, but one close to rage, and before she could snap at him, he added, “you think I ran away, eh? Well, I did, but not for the reasons you think.”

Scarlett laughed sarcastically, “oh yeah, gee, let me guess, you forgot your iron plugged and you  **had** to go take care of it, right?” she snapped at him, moving out of his way once more. Spike tilted his head, smiling, “for someone that claims not having feelings, you sure care a lot, pet,” he retorted while sitting on a couch, arms resting behind his head, “what you have to say about that, eh?” he finished, a small victory smile on his face. He knew she wouldn't answer so he added, “I left ‘cause me being here was hurting you, and in all honesty, pet, don’t think you deserve that.”

She took a deep breath, the rage in her eyes already fading away, “then why are you back? If you claim to care, you should have stayed gone,” she said defensively.  _Bingo!_ Spike thought, trying to contain a smile because she reacted the way he was hoping she would. Spike wouldn't answer her question, not just yet, he knew he was treading on thin ice and any wrong word would make the situation more volatile than already was.

Scarlett sat at her desk and started looking through some papers and casually asked, “so, how long you planning on staying?” Spike shrugged, “Not a buggerin’ clue,” he answered, looking through the necro-tempered glass he added, “gotta wait for sunset before I look for a bloody place to stay. I’m not staying with the sod again.” He didn't mean to, but he realized his comment sounded as if he was asking her for a favor when she said, “well, there’s a small room back there, has a small bed, a TV and a fridge with some blood.” Spike looked at her questioningly and she added, “we close a couple of hours during the afternoon and sometimes I’m too lazy to go home for a nap, so made myself a little nap room. So yeah, you can stay there.”

Spike thanked her, but then he realized there was no way he could continue fishing for answers, it would spark her anger once more and he definitely didn’t want that, so he decided instead to go through files and ask what they were about, just to occupy his mind on something else.

Later that night, after some hours at the bar, Spike went back to the office to watch some TV and think about what to do next about the redhead. She had made Angel give Spike his key to the office, to which Angel protested to no end. Spike was glad there was a bathroom with a shower, so he took advantage of it, and then proceeded to grab a blood bag from the fridge. He found it amusing that it was filled with blood bags, and bottles with pig’s blood.

He was flipping through channels on the TV when he caught  _ **Passions**_. “Bloody hell! They air it in England!?” he said to himself, then leaned back and rested his head on his arms. He was enjoying his leisure when he heard the faint noise of wood creaking. In one swift move he jumped out of the bed, turned off the TV and flattened himself against the door frame. Hearing no other noise, he turned around to walk out of the room and, startled he found himself almost face to face with Scarlett. He didn’t have a chance to ask what was she doing there, she was already kissing him, pushing him into the room and closing the door behind them.


	16. Epilogue

Spike walked out to the balcony, the sight of New York City spreading before his eyes, although sunrise was mere minutes away, lights colored The City That Never Sleeps, it amused him how much NY didn't change. He could smell the sunrise coming and closed his eyes, letting the rays wash over him and he couldn't help chuckling. He opened his eyes and stared at the sun while shielding hi eyes with his hand.

Once the sun detached from the horizon, Spike went back inside and to the bedroom, he sneaked in the bed as silently as he could. He rolled to his side, mirroring the sleeping redhead next to him, _at least this time I didn't wake her up,_ he thought just as the seemingly sleeping woman, her eyes still closed, broke the silence.

"You are insane, you know?" Scarlett said, "every sunrise you do the same."

"You have any idea how many years I spent without seeing a bleeding sunrise?", he replied softly.

"Don’t you ever get tired of getting up  **this** early to see it?” She asked, her voice ever so sleepy.

"I promise, tomorrow will be the last day I do it," he answered, refraining himself from laughing.

"Liar," she said while moving close to him, resting her head on his shoulder, "now hush and sleep."

Spike put an arm around her and mentally chuckled; she was right, he would watch the sunrise the following day and tell her it would be his last. He closed his eyes, and as he fell asleep he couldn't believe he had been saying that one little lie for the last eighty years, and it felt  **good**.


End file.
